My hat is off to you, my friend. I know much of what you speak. As men we are taught to keep that stiff upper lip, and so much more.

I agree with others here, allow your loves in, lean on them, honor them by giving them the opportunity to help you in your time of need. That old saw of, 'turn about is fair play' has truth in it. You deserve all the love and help, they choose, to offer.

Sending love, and more your way, my friend.